Happy Thanksgiving – Yikes! Let’s Be Honest: Thanksgiving is not the leisurely, heartwarming TV commercial moment for most women and for women over 50. Phew!, it can feel like a whirlwind of a time.
[PS - read to the end to see my "Holiday Reset Offer"]
Hey lovely,
It’s Coach Jeanette here.
It’s Coach Jeanette here.
Can we just say it out loud?
Thanksgiving is not the leisurely, heartwarming TV commercial moment for most women over 50.
It’s more like:
“Welcome to your part-time job (without the pay) as Head of Food, Feelings, Family Dynamics and Logistics, and of course Holiday Home Décor Planner & Installer".
“Welcome to your part-time job (without the pay) as Head of Food, Feelings, Family Dynamics and Logistics, and of course Holiday Home Décor Planner & Installer".
If you’re anything like many of the women I counsel (and honestly, like me), you’re the one who:
- Starts planning the menu weeks (or days!) in advance
- Texts or calls everyone to see who’s coming, who’s bringing what, and who’s suddenly “gluten-free-ish” this year
- Looks around your house thinking, “How did we accumulate this much… stuff?” and then power-cleans like a woman on a mission (oh only me, OK)
And while all of this is happening you might still be working a job, maybe checking in on aging parents, maybe supporting adult kids, grandkids, partners, neighbors, and that one friend who always calls right when you’re basting the turkey.
You, my dear, are the “filling in the sandwich generation” and around Thanksgiving, “You’re basically the stuffing too”. You hold everything together.
So let’s talk about how to get through this season with a little less stress, a little more joy, and an actual shot at enjoying your own holiday.
Then there’s the Morning you wake up and think, “Why Is Everyone Looking at Me?”
You know that moment. You wake up one day in November and realize:
“Oh wow! I am the Thanksgiving person now.”
People are waiting on you for the plan, the timing, the food, the vibe… the everything. You didn’t apply for this job, but the promotion is yours anyway.
This is where I gently remind most of the women I counsel (and now you): your wellbeing is allowed to come first, even during the holidays.
So, as you’re running around prepping, do one small thing for your body:
Keep a glass of water on the counter and drink it all day.
Keep a glass of water on the counter and drink it all day.
I’m serious. Just sip. Every time you pass through the kitchen, take a drink. Hydration sounds boring, but it’s like a secret superpower: fewer headaches, a bit more energy, and less of that “I feel like a dried-out cranberry” feeling by 3pm.
And when you finally sit down to eat? Before you dive face-first into the mashed potatoes, mentally say: protein and plants first.
No need to become the Thanksgiving nutrition police. Just quietly build your plate with a bit of protein (turkey, lentils, beans, whatever you’ve got) and a decent scoop of veggies, then go for the stuffing, mac and cheese, and rolls. Your blood sugar - and your mood - will thank you later when you’re not in a full-blown food coma while everyone else is arguing over football.
Oh, and this one’s fun: move your body in tiny, sneaky ways. Ten minutes of stretching while something’s in the oven. A walk around the block with your favorite someone after dinner. A kitchen dance break when nobody’s looking (or when everyone is, and you’re that one). You don’t need to “work out” — you just need to keep your joints and energy flowing.
Meanwhile, In Your Mind…
There’s this whole other Thanksgiving story happening inside your head, right?
The one that says: “The house has to be spotless.”, “Everyone needs to feel welcomed and comfortable.” “If the food isn’t perfect, it reflects on me.”
Hello, saboteurs.
In Positive Intelligence, we talk about these inner voices that create stress and self-judgment. The Pleaser, the Perfectionist (Stickler), the Controller, the Hyper-Achiever… they love the holidays. It’s like their Olympics.
The Pleaser whispers:
“Just say yes, you can handle it. You can host, cook, set the table, do the dishes and listen to everyone’s emotional baggage. That’s just who you are.”
“Just say yes, you can handle it. You can host, cook, set the table, do the dishes and listen to everyone’s emotional baggage. That’s just who you are.”
The Perfectionist says:
“Is that… a wrinkle in the tablecloth? And why is the gravy that color? Fix it. Fix all of it.”
“Is that… a wrinkle in the tablecloth? And why is the gravy that color? Fix it. Fix all of it.”
The Controller adds:
“If you don’t manage every tiny detail, this whole thing is going to fall apart.”
“If you don’t manage every tiny detail, this whole thing is going to fall apart.”
Here’s the truth: none of them are actually helping you enjoy your life.
So this year, experiment with something radical:
Set one clear boundary.
Set one clear boundary.
Just one.
Maybe it’s:
“I’m happy to host, but everyone needs to bring a dish.”
“Thanksgiving is officially from 2–6 pm. I love you all, but I need my evening to recharge.”
“No, I won’t be going out at midnight for Black Friday chaos. I’m choosing sleep in and save my sanity.”
And while you’re at it, claim 10 uninterrupted minutes for yourself that day. Not for cooking, not for cleaning, not for hosting. For you.
Maybe it’s sitting quietly with your favorite hot beverage before the house wakes up. Maybe it’s a few deep breaths outside, looking at the sky and reminding yourself you are a human, not a service provider. Maybe it’s lying on the bed in silence, staring at the ceiling, doing absolutely nothing (highly underrated).
Is it small? Yes.
Is it self-care? Absolutely.
You are sending yourself a message: “My needs matter, even today.”
Is it self-care? Absolutely.
You are sending yourself a message: “My needs matter, even today.”
And Then… Everyone Leaves
You shut the door after the last guest leaves.
You look around at the dishes, the crumbs, the half-empty glasses, the mysterious stain on the table runner. You feel that big exhale: It’s done.
You look around at the dishes, the crumbs, the half-empty glasses, the mysterious stain on the table runner. You feel that big exhale: It’s done.
This, my friend, is a magical moment.
Instead of collapsing into the nearest soft surface and immediately scrolling on your phone or tablet until your brain melts, try this: within the next day or so, have a little decompression date with yourself.
Grab a notebook or the Notes app and ask:
What actually went well? (Don’t skip this one. Your brain will rush to the negative.)
What completely drained me?
What could I change next year to make it easier on me?
This is not about blaming yourself; it’s about designing future holidays that don’t require you to sacrifice your sanity.
And if your body feels a little puffy or tired afterward (because of course it does), this is where we gently reset—not punish.
No “I was so bad, I need to make up for it.”
Try: “I enjoyed my holiday. Now I’m going to be kind to my body.”
Try: “I enjoyed my holiday. Now I’m going to be kind to my body.”
For the next few days:
Drink more water and herbal tea
Eat simple, nourishing meals—soups, salads, lean proteins, roasted veggies
Get a little extra sleep if you can
Take short walks or do some yoga or light stretching
Not because you were “bad,” but because you’re worthy of care.
Spotting the Saboteurs in the Rearview Mirror
Once the dishes are (mostly) done and the leftovers are labeled, it’s a great time to quietly ask yourself:
“Which voices were the loudest for me this Thanksgiving?”
Was it the Pleaser, agreeing to things you didn’t really want to do?
The Perfectionist, critiquing your cooking or décor?
The Hyper-Achiever, turning hosting into a performance review?
The Controller, unable to let others help because “they won’t do it right”?
The Perfectionist, critiquing your cooking or décor?
The Hyper-Achiever, turning hosting into a performance review?
The Controller, unable to let others help because “they won’t do it right”?
Notice how they made you feel. Tense? Resentful? Exhausted?
And then ask:
“What would my wise, loving, grounded self say instead?”
That wise part of you might say:
“Good enough is truly enough.”
“It’s okay to ask for help.”
“My worth is not measured in side dishes.”
“I deserve to enjoy my holidays too.”
This is the work I do with women all the time—especially women 50+ who are tired of carrying the emotional and logistical load of every season without feeling supported themselves.
You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle Your Way Through Another Holiday
If you’re reading this and thinking,
“Oh wow, this is me,”
consider this your sign to get a little support this season. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another holiday. You can book a one-off Holiday Reset session with me—just you and me, looking at your specific situation and creating a simple, realistic plan that protects your energy, your health, and your sanity. We’ll map out how you can move through the holidays (and the rest of the year) with less stress, more joy, and a lot less guilt.
“Oh wow, this is me,”
consider this your sign to get a little support this season. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through another holiday. You can book a one-off Holiday Reset session with me—just you and me, looking at your specific situation and creating a simple, realistic plan that protects your energy, your health, and your sanity. We’ll map out how you can move through the holidays (and the rest of the year) with less stress, more joy, and a lot less guilt.
As a Thanksgiving thank-you, I’m offering this Holiday Reset session at a special reduced price for anyone who books before 11/25. If you know you don’t want to repeat the same overwhelmed holiday story again, reach out and grab your spot—I’d love to help you breathe easier and actually enjoy this season.
With love, a soft place to land, and possibly slightly lumpy gravy,
Coach Jeanette 🍂
Coach Jeanette 🍂
Thank you for reading.
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